We Like to Potty!

I'm not sure what possessed me to want to introduce Mary Abilene to the potty at just shy of one year old, but I know one day, Patrick came home from work and I announced "I want to potty train our daughter." Now, at 12 months and 3 weeks of age, Mary Abilene goes pee-pee or tries to go every single time I sit her on the potty!

When first announced I wanted to potty train, my husband's response was "Can you do that with a one year old?" Turns out, one year old can even be considered late. Many, many people are introducing their infants to the idea of potty training in America and especially other cultures where disposable diapers are not the norm.

In the book "Early Start Potty Training" by Linda Sonna, she explain that parents used to begin potty training much earlier than they do now. In 1961, before the availability of disposable diapers, 90% of children were potty trained by 2.5 years, which dropped to 22% by 1998. A study in Ambulatory Pediatrics in 2001 said the average age for completing

potty training was 35 months for girls and 39 months for boys. Yet, in the early 1900's infants were often held over a little pot and they became accustomed to going over the pot. The big debate at the time was whether to delay potty training to the age of two months. When automatic washing machines came along in the 1940's and washing diapers was no longer so difficult, infant potty training was out with hand washing. Proctor & Gamble began testing the first disposable diapers in 1961 and their spokesman, T. Berry Brazelton, had commercials that told parents that potty training should be done when children were older, and should be left up to the children to decide when they want to toilet train. The disposable diaper industry told parents that modern science was better than anything they had done before, and parents believed them. In 1998 Pampers introduced a size 6 diaper, and now, disposable diapers come in size 7, made for children of 41+ lbs. It seems to me that if the disposable diaper industry had its way, no one would toilet train! I can't find profit for Pampers alone, but P&G made over $8 billion last year alone.

So you may be wondering how on earth you potty train someone who can barely walk and can't talk. Infant potty training is called Elimination Communication and there are select people who do this with their baby. You basically don't "train" them, you learn their potty cues and hold them over a bowl or pot so they can eliminate. I had heard of this while pregnant, but I didn't want to obsess over my baby's bowels, so I didn't even read into it. Lately, I've seen in forums people who are having plenty of success with introducing the potty to an older baby and toddler. I thought it was a great idea, so we got Mary Abilene a potty and a book (the potty for her, the book for me.)

So we get BooBoo a little potty. (I like the Baby Bjorn smart potty. Its small, nothing fancy, but ergonomic and serves its purpose.) We began sitting her on it at opportune times, like after she woke up for the morning or from a nap. The very first morning that I put her on it - she pee-peed! Right in the potty. We made a huge to-do about it and threw her up in the air smiling and singing. Each time she goes in the potty, we make a big deal about how wonderful it is. She always wants to look in the potty after she gets up. It either has pee-pee or is empty and I tell her "Yay you went pee-pee!" or "no pee-pee. Its empty." It didn't take long at all for her to realize that she was making the liquid that was in the potty. She has also pooped in the potty several times, also after a nap or in the morning. Ever since we started putting her on the potty in the morning, she has gone. There have only been a few mornings that she hasn't gone, and that's usually because we waited too long after she woke up, or she wanted to nurse first. She loves books, so it has been very easy to sit her on the potty and read her some books. She stays on it as long as I'm reading.

As of just a week or so ago, we only sat her on it after waking times. Those were the most likely times for her to go, and any other time was a shot in the dark. We would also give her a lot of naked time, either outside, or on a big old comforter and watch her to see if she has "potty signals". I can recognize her signals while she's going, but not so much before she goes. Naked time also helps to know when she last went potty so then I can get better timing for when she needs to go next. But lately, she doesn't even need to sit long enough to read books. I sit her on the potty and then I go potty and she is always done by the time I'm done. One night last week, I noticed that she was actually trying to go pee-pee, that it was no longer just a coincidence of good timing. She goes when I go! I put her on the potty, I sit on the toilet, and every time she either goes, or makes and effort to go. Sometimes its just bad timing and she doesn't need to go - but she tries! I'm really surprised at how fast this is going. She quickly learned what she's supposed to be doing on the little potty! At first, we were just "catching" her pee-pee. But now, she truly does try to go as soon as she sits down. There is very little waiting, or hoping she'll happen to go while she's there. The next step is getting her to recognize when she has to go and then telling us she has to go. Obviously she doesn't talk much, and has never said "pee-pee" or "potty" but this is where signing comes in. We are teaching her a sign for potty and do it every time we take her to the potty and then while she's going potty.

After she goes potty, I try to leave her diaper-free for at least the next 30 minutes. Diaper-free time is really important for any baby. It helps them air out, get some light, and not spend so much time in a diaper. Sonna points out that a child only spends about 30 minutes a day either pottying or bathing, so why are they in diapers the other 23 hours and 30 minutes? Because of disposable diapers, more and more children are suffering from diaper rash (78% of them) and are being left in diapers longer because they "stay dry". The stay-dry effect is also very bad for learning to potty. If a child never knows when they go, it will be very hard for them to learn their biological cues. Sonna points out that essentially we are teaching babies to go only in their diaper. Every new parent has been sprayed on the changing table, but have you noticed that after only a few weeks or months, the baby stops spraying naked? They get used to pottying in the diaper and learns that is where potty goes. Multiply that by several years and you have a pre-schooler who has a very strong association of pottying in their diaper. They essentially can't not potty in their diaper.

I imagine some people are thinking "Well, that's cute and all, but what's the big deal?" Money is one of the big deals. The average child goes through $2,000-$3,000 worth of disposable diapers. That number could be cut in half. To me, even though I have already invested in cloth diapers, I spend money washing diapers. I also don't like to rinse out poop. Mary Abilene thinks diaper changes are a big deal, squirming, screaming, and otherwise hating every second she spends on the changing table. She only wore 2 diapers all day today. The rest of the time she spent comando. She went 4 times in the potty today. A girl that goes in the potty four times doesn't have to wear diapers! The other big deal is hygiene. Sonna spends a large portion of the book talking about hygiene and why it is important to not leave babies sitting in their own mess. Diaper rash used to be a sign of child neglect, now it is considered "normal". Urine is very acidic and can cause rashes. Poop contains lots of bacteria and that bacteria can travel to other "sensitive" places in little girl's diapers. There is also suggestion that diapers heat up testicles to an unhealthy temperature and can cause fertility issues later in life.

You might also think "It sounds like too much work to teach a baby to go in the potty." Actually, it is very little effort, and the effort that is involved is really fun! Sonna points out that the traditional potty training age of 2.5 to 3 years is when children are most stubborn and least likely to want to take time out from playing to go potty. Pre-schoolers often refuse to go in the potty, often because they do not know how. It would be like sticking an adult in the middle of the room with someone commanding them to "Go potty." This is not where I usually potty - why should I potty here, now? But a baby or young toddler loves to emulate everything their parent does. They respond really well to praise and excited voices. There is much less pressure because I don't have a potty training deadline (like some might have for starting preschool). I don't put pressure on "accidents" or have any sort of reprimand for not pottying in the potty. It is purely fun and enjoyable for both me and Mary Abilene.

I really like to call it "potty learning" as opposed to "potty training". I'm not training my baby girl, but rather, I'm helping her learn. A child needs opportunity to learn to do everything. They need opportunity to learn to crawl, learn to walk, learn to eat solid food; they just need the chance. I didn't have high expectations when we started sitting her on the potty. I just wanted to introduce the potty and help her learn the sensations and the urge to potty. I am really amazed at how quickly she is learning this and seems to really "get it", that she even wants to go in the potty. When she sits down, and starts to tinkle she smiles up at me so big. Like, "Look, Mommy! I'm doing it!" She is proud of herself, and I am so proud of her!